


Storms and Apologies

by honestlyitskindadraining



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Not TOO Shippy either, Not too angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 05:03:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7494924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honestlyitskindadraining/pseuds/honestlyitskindadraining
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pearl had been planning for a night of watching Steven sleep, not a heart to heart with Lapis Lazuli. But then again, we don't always get what we ask for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Storms and Apologies

Pearl creeps out of her room, prepped for a night of Steven watching. She can’t help it, what else is she supposed to do during the night? She doesn’t sleep like Amethyst or Steven, and who knows what Garnet did after dark.  
She looks around. The coast seems clear.  
A flash and rumble of thunder startles her. Lit up in the flash was a small figure curled up on the window sill.  
“Lapis?” Pearl whispers to herself.  
The blue gem doesn’t turn around, not that she could have hear Pearl over the storm in the first place. Pearl glides across the room on silent feet. “Lapis?” Pearl asks again, resting her hand on the other gem’s shoulder.  
Lapis turns to face her, with wide eyes that narrow immediately upon recognition. “You,” The ocean gem says with distrust, turning away.  
Pearl sits down on the window ledge, facing Lapis. The two gems had largely avoided each other in the previous months, but with the ocean gem staying at the temple for the next few weeks, it seemed inevitable for their paths to cross eventually. For a minute, Pearl just looks at Lapis. Lapis Lazuli looks at the storm. “So…” Pearl starts, “How’s living at the barn?”  
Lapis shrugs moodily. “It’s okay, I guess. Peridot’s been okay. She stays out of my way, which I can appreciate.”  
Pearl can’t help but feel that the last part was a jab at her. She brushes it off. She won’t be able to thaw things between her and Lapis if she gets offended at every little thing.  
“How has your time on Earth been?”  
“It’s been good. Really good. All the open space, the freedom the variety, excluding the time I was kept trapped in that stupid mirror, or trapped in stupid Homeworld prison." Lapis glares at the other gem through dark blue bangs.  
That was definitely a jab at Pearl. The pink haired gem swallows her immediate retort and takes a slight breath in. “Look, about that, Lapis, I didn’t know -“  
“Oh, you didn’t know?” Lapis hisses, her voice venom. “How could you not know one of the most powerful gems on this Diamonds-forsaken rock was stuck in some piece of junk?”  
“Lapis, Lapis I swear -“  
The wind outside howls, rain crashing against the roof. “Don’t go making excuses, do you know what I am, what I can do? You’re just some dumb Pearl anyway.”  
Both gems freeze, each as surprised as the other at what Lapis has said. Pearl can feel tears welling up in her eyes. Can feel a millennium of effort to believe in her self worth crashing down around her. She feels every bit as exposed as she did in the Kindergarten when they put her on a ship with dozens of other Pearls nearly identical to her, both in looks and also in fear and the way they all cried and wished and prayed that they be sent to a merciful master, as she ever did in Pink Diamond’s court where she danced with the other Pearls for the court’s amusement, as when Rose Quartz looked down at her in a confused amusement when she said she wanted to fight in the rebellion. Peridot had said similar things before, but that was different. Peridot didn’t know what she was saying, that’s how she was raised. Pearl thought Lapis would have known by this point, understood.  
A single tear rolls down Pearl’s cheek. “L-Lapis?”  
Lapis’s face unfreezes, melting into a face of genuine sadness. She scoots towards Pearl facing her. She reaches out a hand towards Pearl, but withdraws it before it touches her, or even before the younger gem can even tell she made the movement.  
Lapis casts her eyes down. “I’m… I’m sorry, Pearl.”  
Pearl sniffs a bit and wipes her eyes off. She looks Lapis in the eye. “I -“ her voice cracks a little “I really am sorry, Lapis.”  
Lapis breaks eye contact, runs her fingers along the window, tracing the rain. She looks at the other gem out of the corner of her eye. Lapis felt so exposed. For millennium, she was one of the most powerful gems, short of the Diamonds themselves. She could kill organic life on Earth in one day if she wanted to, she could change ecosystems with a simple thought. She had the power to destroy life and planets, so how could this one gem, a Pearl, strip back everything and make her feel the closest to mortal she’s ever felt?  
She looks at Pearl’s face, her eyes wet with tears. She, Lapis Lazuli, had caused that. She had caused that emotion in the other gem. Lapis sits in stunned contemplation. This time, when Lapis reaches out to Pearl, she doesn’t stop herself. Pearl looks at the hand resting on her arm. Lapis smiles to Pearl, a sad, lopsided smile that’s so bare and unprotected Pearl can understand what Lapis is trying to say.  
“It’s okay, Lapis, I forgive you.” Pearl puts her hand on Lapis’s.  
“I forgive you, too,” Lapis says quietly. She hangs her head. “I’m sorry it took me so long to forgive you.”  
“No, no, Lapis, it’s okay, I probably deserve it -“  
“Did you really not know who I was?”  
“No, we didn’t! When we found your mirror, we had no idea who you were. I’d assumed you were too corrupted, that there wouldn’t be anything conscious left in you…”  
Lapis nods. The damage she had taken was more than enough to have corrupted almost any gem. Even as it was, when her gem was cracked, she was barely aware of her actions.  
Pearl looks down at the hand trapped between her hand and her arm. She could see a few golden flecks in Lapis’s skin that shimmered in the lightning. She lightly strokes her thumb back and forth. “When… when you went back to Homeworld…”  
Lapis meets her eyes. The other gem’s blue eyes are more open and honest than Pearl has ever seen. Lapis nods her head a bit, prompting Pearl to go on.  
“What was it like? The Homeworld?"  
“Nothing like you would recognize, Pearl. It was all so different. The technology, the architecture… The entire planet is practically a government city now. They’ve built over all the old Kindergartens, and I guess it’s beautiful, but…”  
This time Pearl was the one to nod Lapis on. Lapis has gotten lost staring at Pearl’s hand caressing her own, although she hasn’t pulled away.  
“It’s not home anymore. You can’t even see the stars anymore.”  
Pearl makes a small noise in the back of her throat. Stops rubbing Lapis’s hand, although she keeps it between hers. Both gems look out at the storm. The silence is dragging on.  
“You really loved her, didn’t you?” Lapis’s voice drags Pearl back to the moment. Pearl pulls her hand back, blushing. “Rose Quartz?”  
“U-uhh...” Pearl stuttered wordlessly.  
Lapis leans against the window and brushes her bangs out of her eyes. “I’ve seen your memories, Pearl.”  
Pearl nods mutely, her blush deepening, and she hopes Lapis can’t tell in the poor lighting. The ocean gem had spent the years since the rebellion inside Pearl’s gem, of course the mirror had seen everything.  
The sun is starting to peer out from the slowly dying storm, turning the distant storm clouds purple and pink. “I can’t help but admire your undying loyalty to your master, even after her death.”  
“What do you mean?” Pearl asks sharply.  
“I’ve seen your memories,” Lapis repeats. “Do you still love Rose Quartz because of who she was, or because of who she was to you?” Pearl stares off at the pink clouds, billowing in such a way she can almost pretend they were part of Rose Quartz’s skirt.  
Lapis sets her feet on the floor. “I’m going for a morning flight.” She says. "Do you want to join me?” Pearl shakes her head.  
Before she can regret it, Lapis takes Pearl’s hand, leans over and kisses her on the cheek. “Maybe another time,” Lapis says. She quickly stands up and walks out the door, taking off before Pearl can get a word in, or even process what happened.  
Pearl looks out at the figure flying over the ocean, blocking the fluffy pink clouds. The gem raises a hand to her cheek where Lapis had kissed her. “Maybe another time.”


End file.
